Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Penis

That title made you come view my blog, didn't it? Well, I won't disappoint. This is a clean post all about the adventures of Toddler (just turned 3 year old) and his penis.

Toddler is on the couch counting to ten. Mind you he is naked because here in AZ it is so hot that he just strips done and runs free. He has one hand cupped over his penis.

Toddler: ...8, 9, 10. Ready or not here I come!
Me: What are you doing?
Toddler: Playing hide n' seek.
Me: With who?
Toddler: My Penis! See (he uncups his hand) I found him!


Toddler: Mom ! My penis is broke!
Me: Why? What do you think is wrong?
Toddler: It's laying down, Mommy.
Me: It's not broke, just sometimes it needs to sleep.
Toddler: Oh, goodnight penis!


Toddler was running around in his superman undies and I noticed something sticking out of the leg hole.
Me: Toddler, why is your penis sticking out of your undies?
Toddler: Oh Mom, he's just breathing.

Toddler: Mommy! (sobbing) I broke it. There is 2.
Me: Are you okay? Did you fall off the bed when you were jumping?
Toddler: There's 2! There's 2!
Me: There's 2 of what.
Toddler: (pointing to his testicles) 2 in there
Me: There has always been 2 in there.
Toddler: Oh, yeah! The more the merrier!


Now on to some bathroom humor.

Toddler: Mom, I have to pee.
me: okay ( hoist him up on the potty) when you're done, wash your hands and bring me your undies.
(3 minutes too late I walk in to check on him)
Me: Toddler, what are you doing?
Toddler: Painting you a picture.
There he was perfecting brush strokes on my wall with an extremely over saturated Q-Tip.
Me: Toddler, how did you get the Q-Tip so wet?
Toddler points to the toilet
Me: Eww, Honey that's pee-pee water. You didn't flush.
Toddler: I know Mom, I needed yellow to paint you a sun shiny day.

And that folks is the many so far adventures of Toddler and his penis..........


5 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh, thank God I have a girl. I don't think my heart is ready for that. You are a way better mom than me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Katie. Girls are fun to coo over but boys are just plain funny. I love girly tween and she makes me smile, but Toddler makes me laugh. Heck that kid makes everyone laugh with the stuff he comes up with.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That is toooooooooooooooooooooo funny! Reminds me of when Scott discovered that he had two testicles. He thought he'd broken it too. LOL! Thanks, I needed that laugh. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. its me tween and mom u r so not nice dont i make u laugh ...... ill paint u a picture with icky water.... hello really the title of the blog is reading BE TWEEN the lines its not reading be toddler lines im still here i just havent said anything cuz in my grade we have alot of stupid homework.....btw katie ur a great mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dont think soo negitive well thats all i have 2 say soo ya bye =D

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tween, u rock. I love u. I think I'm an awesome mom, I was just kidding...or jk like your friend allison. ;) I love getting texts from u by the way. Totally makes my day. I have to remind myself your in school now when I go to send pictures. I've been in court representing foster kids and it isn't pretty if your phone goes off. Judge gets super mad. I bet its like that if u accidentally forget to turn your phone off in class so I try not to text u during school...well accept this morning.

    ReplyDelete